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Monday, July 25, 2011

God knows how to pursue you

God is a very realistic God. He always has been and it is clearly evidenced through the scriptures that He always will be.

These days, I've been seeing how God's realistic (yet awesome) movements display how infinite He is; infinite in His wisdom, infinite in His knowledge of us, and infinite in His love towards us. His patience is overwhelming me daily and I can't help but see God in nearly everything that I am doing.

As I have been going through an Experiencing God workbook, it has kept me keen on how God is teaching me to serve and then stick with Him for the energy to keep serving, to lead and then stay close to Him for the capacity to maintain the ability to do so. For the most part, it has kept me focused on how God communicates to us in very real and realistic ways to draw us into the greatest relationship we can ever experience.

For some, I do believe that we need a harsh wake up call. We need a wake up that will send us to the hospital, make us something we love, or put us in a situation that we come to the realization that we can't do it on our own. Sometimes, we just go so far into a self-destructive pattern that our decisions, our lifestyles, and our hearts are completely closed off to God. I don't think this is for everyone, nor do I believe that God is the direct cause of everything that happens negatively to us as we live in a fallen world. Of course, these are theological issues I don't plan on delving into. One thing I do know is that if we hold onto something so tight that we aren't willing to let it go, it often slips between our fingers or we suffocate it to death. I think we do that with money, relationships, lifestyle, comfort, material things, image, and so many other things. Since God is a God who knows everything, He knows what makes us tick and in which manner we will respond to Him without diminishing His Godness. He works in ways that we can understand, not in some alien language. He speaks to our hearts. God is very realistic in what He expects from us and how he can get our attention. God knows us much better than we know ourselves.

I have a hard time believing (with amazement) at how quickly God has recaptured my heart. Just a month ago, I felt like I was distant, stone cold, and in every way trying to turn away from God as I kept holding onto the desire I had for God to pursue me. I was so blinded by my own ambitions to have God send down a cloud of fire to grab my attention that I ignored how He kept running in front of every road I ran down with arms wide open. I was looking for a roaring thunder or the flashes of lightning to send me messages in the sky instead of paying attention to the quiet whispers he spoke through the gentle winds. He had been nudging me with memories of His goodness, His provision, and the joy a relationship with Him had brought to me throughout my entire life. I just chose to ignore it.

I feel like a totally different person and I think my life is taking shape in such a way that it collected all my experiences and studies in the past and have brought me to a place where my heart has translated much of what my head has known throughout the years. My prayer life is real and addictive, my time in the scriptures are becoming more enjoyable, and my time with people have become much more fruitful.

I'm beginning to redefine wisdom. As none are truly wise, I've been thinking upon what makes someone wiser than someone else. It seems like wisdom is getting to the heart of the matter more than anything else and discerning what to do from there. As we don't really know the extent of the darkness of our own hearts and the extent of the light that God truly brings to it, it seems to be calling me into a greater desperation to hold onto God as the source of that wisdom. It leads me to obedience as I don't want to be apart from Him and it leads me to peace as I know that He will not lead me into a place He doesn't want me to be in. It's pretty amazing how God creates points of dependency where we need to go to Him for everything.

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