"I set time apart with God not in order to know Him, but because I know Him."
I've noticed that when you really care about someone, love them, or hold them in an important position in your life. You will take the schedule that you have and carve out time for them. That time will obviously look different depending on the person's existing schedule, but it will not deviate significantly from the recipient of the time feeling like you are setting apart valuable time for them.
I made a fatal mistake in a relationship I was in doing the opposite of what I just wrote. I didn't realize how much my actions would hurt her and I spent a lot of time just replaying some of the conversations we shared in the moment of it. All I wanted to do was spend some time with friends, but I failed to realize that I was neglecting a very significant relationship in my life. Of course, I knew this in my head, but I failed to truly empathize the situation in my heart. And with the lack of empathy and consideration, I failed to move into an action that would've alleviated much of the hurt I had created.
The scary thing in all of this is that nothing was malicious or done in evil intent. I never not wanted to spend time or just hang with the two of us. I think that it was just my super-extroversion that kicked into high gear and wanted to socialize. There was no deliberate ignoring of the requests, instead, it was more of a move towards wanting time to myself. I think that this happens a lot (especially to guys) and they just aren't aware of it. Some days, as men, we just want to go do guy stuff. That is totally normal. I am not saying that people don't need time to themselves, but sometimes, we must put our "me" time aside as an act of service and love to someone we care about. Sometimes, doing the guy stuff will get in the way of truly being there for someone who has a greater need. No one likes the idea of having to sacrifice themselves, but I believe that love makes sacrifice a joy. And unfortunately, I failed many times at this very thing.
The one thing that bugs me is that in moments, you can be fully engaged in a relationship and in other moments, you can have one foot in and another foot in something else. It really is hard to split our time and attention with a billion things when we have only a certain amount of hours in the day. This is why we need to set time apart to fully engage with those we truly care about and those we serve with our time and energy.
It just seems to be logical then that if relationships require time alone, then the same is true for our relationship with God. At the beginning it may be awkward and uncomfortable, but if you give it enough time, like with any relationship whether it be platonic or romantic, you will find that the time you spend with God is just as good (and better!) than any human relationship. After all, you are spending quality time with the God who created the world and everything in it.
These days, I just look forward to spending time with God. Everyday I get a buzz from engaging with Him and I get excited about getting the chance to just sit still alone and communicate with Him. Some days are certainly stronger than others, and I expect that some weeks will find themselves to be more enjoyable the the rest, but overall, I know that my time alone with God has been some of the best times I've had.
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